by DAZYCHIC via Etsy
Well my dearest friends, I really do think we live in a funny little world.
I have found that days or weeks could go by without ever hearing anyone say anything truly spectacular about their everyday lives.
I mean, I cannot tell you how often I ask people “How have you been” and hear in response a regurgitation of all the awful things that happen or have happened to them in the last year, month, day, or hour… The thing is, and I’ve said this before, I think we live in a society that loves to hear the crappy stuff. Now that’s a bold and spikey statement to swallow… You’re thinking right now, “That’s not true, I love to hear positive things” but let me elaborate…
From a young age I was taught not to be boastful or a braggart; not to be conceited or over-confident in myself or in the life I live…Meanwhile, in the same breath, I was told to have self-confidence and self-esteem, to be both happy and positive as well as grateful for all the things that I have… But here’s the question: How can we do and be all those things if all we hear around us is negative? Or put simply: How can we focus on the positive if all we talk about is the negative?
And now, a story: Once I met a woman who I asked very casually, as I do most people I meet, “How are you?” … To my utter and complete surprise, this seemingly normal gal beamed right back at me “I am sooo good!”
WOW!!! I was so taken aback that I instantly smiled and let her know how rare it was to get such a radiant and cheerful answer like hers back. She proceeded to tell me why she was so good… She hadn’t won the lotto or married her perfect mate… nor did she have the job of her dreams… but she was happy with the day, with the sun and some free time, and yes, her husband who she loved and her small child who she was happy to be away from at the moment… This proclamation really got me thinking about ME. How do I respond when people ask me about ME?
Not long ago, I had fallen victim to the daily ‘bitch-session” with some of my close friends. We didn’t talk about the happy or wonderful things in our lives, only about the rotten things. I would leave the conversations feeling low and dull, not at all happy and uplifted… Not how I felt when I left the conversation with the cheerful stranger mentioned before (who I never saw again but clearly changed my thinking pattern! Thanks stranger!!!!)… With these friends, I rarely brought the good stuff up because I didn’t think anyone wanted to hear it… Think about it, when someone says how in love they are or how happy they are, often we say some smart-ass comment about a genuine and truly positive feeling (I even do this!). We don’t mean to do it; we’ve just been programmed that way!
From that moment on, I vowed to really think about how I was going to answer that question when asked, and how I would speak about a life I really do love (in spite of some really crappy things that can, and do, and will happen).
DISCLAIMER: I’m not suggesting that you lie here people. You’re allowed to have crappy days, or a broken heart, PMS, or just run of the mill bad luck! I’m not implying that you should become a pre-programed Stepford wife! If something’s wrong, and you have friends that you trust who can support you and you can lean into, then tell them; I want to know, I want to help if I can. But DO NOT LET THESE THINGS CONSUME YOU OR YOUR RELATIONSHIPS!!!! You have to make the choice yourself, your peers won’t do that for you, your spouse can’t even do it for you. If you are the somebody who only dishes the negative, trust me, you are doing your relationships AND yourself a disservice.
This week try to Live Your Happiness OUT LOUD, Live Your Life out loud. I’m going to do the same thing! If you’re stuck in the habit of sharing only the crappy parts, sharing the good stuff will feel like bragging at first, it won’t come easy, but FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT (something I learned from my dear friend Christine). That is, just TRY to be MORE positive. Positivity is infectious AND it grows exponentially once shared, especially with people you love and adore. Trust me on this (or you can just be miserable); I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum!
apaigefullofglitter 